Micromance: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly Of Love In The Little Things

Little gestures, but is anyone really present?

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Dear Readers,

I remember the days when love was roses on a random Tuesday, handwritten letters or poems, and dramatic airport chases. Now? It's sending a Tik Tok that made you think of them. It's texting "I'm home safe" after a night out. It's grabbing their favourite chocolate bar from the corner shop without being asked.

They call it Micromance! The quiet and consistent little ways that people show that they care. But while the gestures are sweet, we have to ask ourselves the real questions. Is this the new love language? Or is it a subtle mask hiding emotional avoidance?

Let's break it down: The Good, The Bad, & of course The Ugly.

🖤 The Good: Small Actions, Big Love

Micromance isn't a bad thing. . .In fact it's beautiful watching people show affection through small actions.

It's real.

It's thoughtful.

And it often says more than the loudest "I Love You."

Look around you, everyone is busy, tired, or battling silent struggles and those small acts of care can give even the weakest souls an ounce of strength.

Acts like:

• He remembered how many sugars you like in your tea

• She saved the last slice of cake for you

• He sent you his latest spotify playlist titled "Just Vibes & Us"

It's love, just a little quieter and no less deep. Micromance proves that romance doesn't need to be loud to be heard.

💔 The Bad: When Bare Minimum Becomes The Bar

But let's keep it all the way 💯.

Sometimes these little things are. . .all there is.

A quick "thinking of you" text, and that's it for the day. A few heart eyed emojis under your instagram post, and they've done enough. A few shared memes and multiple laughing emojis, but never a real conversation.

Micromance can become a convenient loophole also viewed as love on autopilot. No effort, no planning, no vulnerability. . .just out here vibing. I can promise that vibes isn't always enough.

We start to accept the breadcrumbs because they're frequent, forgetting that we deserve the whole loaf.

🫣 The Ugly: Hiding Behind The Softness

If you really want to get into it. . .let's dig a bit deeper.

Sometimes, micromance isn't romantic at all. It's a shield.

Instead of opening up, we send funny memes.

Instead of apologising, we call and start random conversations.

Instead of saying "I love you", we forward a quote.

It's emotional smoke and mirrors.

We avoid the hard conversations and bury real intimacy beneath curated "caring". We become performers in the play of affection, delivering just enough to keep the connection alive but never enough to make it truly thrive.

When it's all said and done and the music stops, all you're left with are conversation threads full of memes and silence.

The Real: What Love Needs

In all fairness, micromance is not the enemy but it should be ordered as a side dish and not the main course.

Real love still thrives off of:

• Honest conversations

• Intention

• Commitment

• Vulnerability

• Consistency

Send the memes, but also show up.

Buy the chocolate bar, but also say what and how you feel.

Love in the little ways, but don't forget the big ways too.

Final Thoughts

Love can whisper, but it should also speak clearly.

So, the next time you find yourself relying on micromance ask yourself this.

Am I expressing love or avoiding intimacy?

Love deserves more than breadcrumbs. It deserves presence, depth, and truth. Even in the times when it is uncomfortable.

And that my friends is the good, the bad and the ugly truth to micromancing.

See you in my next post.